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ok so here it is… im 15 gonna be 16 on march 6th and its now 7 hours from bein a new year it will be January 1st 00 and out of allllll these years ive been alive …. Well
to be perfectly honest my life hasn't been that interesting I mean heres a list
1. never been kissed
. never had a bf
. never been asked out
4. haven't had that magical summer
5. never ran away from home
6. never tried drugs
and so u c why my life hasn't been that interesting is well because I donno some could say its cause im shy or whatever but I donnoi, I mean I soppose one could say that im shy but I feel like theres more to it than that I mean I wasn't always this shy ya no I mean I used to pretty outgoing, but nowadays I just alive but that's it I mean its like im at the airport but im missin the plane ya no ? but c my question is how long till it takes off without me or did I already miss it ? these dayz its like my life is just goin n goin ya no? I mean isn't life soppose to hav changes and surprises n stuff? But c I havnt been getting ne of that stuff!!!! Like sometimes when im on the bus goin home from school I find my self thinking the same thing I was thinking the day before in the same seat, at the same time ,lookin at the same boyz walkin down the same streets with the same girlfriends!!! And then theres me hence another list
1. get up
. do makeup
. go to bustop
4. ride the bus alone
5. go to gym (nothing happens)
6. find myself walkin in the halls and lookin at people and wonderin what their thinking
7. lookin at ryan power knowin he has a gf but kant help thinks that one day hed be mine
but I donno it's a whole new year and what am I gonna do?? Ha I no damn well what im gonna im gonna do the same things I always do
1. get up
. do makeup
. ride bus alone
4. look at ryan power and wish he was mine
well I donno but sometimes I like to imagine what I would be doin if I was skinnier and more outgoin n a lil bit smarter but really that all im ever gonna do
I just wish I could do something ya no?
What if I didn't think what they r thinking and seein and doin bout me god the perfect escape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God ya no sometimes I wish I could just do it!!! But I wont cause my life is just sooooo predictable!!! Nicole mack that's who I am? That's who I wanna be r the rest of my life? What would they think if I suddenly just started talking a lot ? I wanna do something impulsive n crazy I wanna be reborn
Well no change im 16 its ,march8 and im the exact same way I was when I started writing this lol god I guess my life is predictable, why does he call me as soon as I start doing something,come here quick !!! whatever god they all piss me off like 0% of the time dammittttttttt, god I think im disgusting or something I donno I think im soooo ugly that no guy would wanna talk or touch me I wonder if its true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And its like whenever somebody says im pretty or doesn't look at me like im a gross think I donno I guess I just wonder what their thinking lo live never had a bf and I donno its not like I purposely repel guyz or something!!!!!! I don't it just happens!!! Am I a nerd? Perhaps I mean I hav friends n stuff and
I comfy
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