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Chapter 1
I use different typ
es of communication all day. I work at an espresso bar and I am cashier and I serve the customers. All day I am thinking of the types of conversations I am holding and why I am having them. Most of the time it is use of instrumental goals. People come because they want product. Often times though, we have friendly conversations as I make one's drink. I see the difference it can make when I ask people how their day is going. Many people really enjoy this and just casually chatting.
One thing I have noticed about myself is that I am a huge self monitor, maybe too much. I am constantly thinking very deeply about what I say before I even say it. I over analyze what I say to people, or how I behave with them. I guess I'm a bit self-conscious.
I think I'm a really hard person to get to really know. I feel only my closest friends and family really know who I am. I also think I can get my point across much better through letters, nonverbally. That's why I like to talk to people about serious topics over the internet through instant messaging. I guess it's just a lot easier sometimes to say bold things when the when you're not facing the receiver of the message. There are many times I've asked people if we could get online and talk if we were on the phone before. For the first few months when I was with my boyfriend I would have us do this if I had an issue to talk about. I think I've gotten over that with him. I don't always necessarily think that is the best way to handle things. It's almost like you're somewhat hiding. The point may not get across exactly how you wanted, or the receiver may not even take it as seriously as they would if you were face to face.
I think the breakthrough of the internet is a marvelous invention though for shy people. They're somewhat anonymous. If they goof up, it won't be as big of a deal. It's also easier to find people who share the same interests. A lot of people consider meeting people online risky or "nerdy". I can see their point. But I think there are a lot of people who like the anonymity of it all.
My boyfriend and I constantly use metacommunication. I value our romance very highly because we do this. I think it's really important. If there is ever an issue concerning our communication, we bring it up and get to the bottom of it immediately. I have been in many other relationships where we just don't talk about it. So it would build up and cause us to behave in negative ways and cause explosive fights and hurt feelings. It feels very good now to have someone who I am so comfortable with that I can bring anything up, that may be a threat to our relationship. I believe if relationships don't have this they will definitely suffer. It's harder sometimes for me, with people I hardly know. For example, co-workers. I've had many problems before with people I've worked with. But I never really had the nerve to bring up what about our professional relationship would irk me. So to get it out, I would speak poorly of these people to other co-workers, which is never a good thing. That of course always creates drama. But it's always because I'm too meek to say it to their face.
I also wanted to say that I think because my boyfriend and I have such good communication, I believe we have a very neutralized symmetry. We have discussed in the past, before this class and before I even knew there was a term for this type of relationship, who has more power. We both agreed that it seemed pretty balanced. I thought this was a great sign. In my opinion, these seem like they make the healthiest type of relationship.
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