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Superbowl Story
Essay written by Anonymous
HERE BEGINS THE BOOK OF THE TALES OF THE SUPER BOWL When the frigid air of January has blanketed every treetop and house alike with its gentle frost; when birds, squirrels, and the like are nowhere to be found close to home- then folks long to go on trips to temperate sites; and especially from every corner of the States they travel to Pasadena every few years, to watch The Super Bowl there; the finals for the great football season which has entertained them the past few months.
One day in that season when I went to Landesman Travel in Teaneck, ready to reserve a seat on an airline for Pasadena no matter what it took, I saw a sign for a special offer, half the price of what I had planned on spending, for a private jet to The Super Bowl; first seven people served. As I inquired, I discovered that I was the seventh and final person. We were to meet at terminal 76B at Newark Airport one half hour before scheduled take-off, 60 A.M. Super Bowl Sunday, to check the luggage and make acquaintances for the ride, which I am going to tell you about. But, nevertheless, while I have time and space, before I go farther in this account, it seems reasonable to tell you all about each of the passengers, as they appeared to me; who they were, and of what social status, and also what sort of clothes they wore. And I shall begin with the Sports Doctor.
There was among us a Sports Doctor who was a great follower of the Hippocratic oath, never neglecting any player who believed he was in need. He had preformed admirably in the Giants struggle for success, during which he had traveled near and far by their side, keeping the team in greatest health. Even in this time off of his, he wishes to be close by their side, front row by the Giants bench, giving his support, only morally not physically. He owns two foreign sports cars( how appropriate for his occupation) and his dress is most informal for a practicing doctor, just a buttoned down shirt and slacks.
Next was an Electrician, who worked quite diligently all week long and would help his neighbor no matter what hour of day. But if it would happen that any person in distress would require his assistance during the three tense hours of Giants football a week, on Sunday or even Monday night, he would apologetically decline and offer his service at the end of the game. When not at work, the Electrician would read the sports section of the newspaper or would watch Sportscenter on cable television. He was a fine, fat man, probably due to the excessive amount of beer which he consumed during the games. He wore T-shirts which were always tight on him and jeans just below his gut which exposed some of himself when he bent over to perform some task.
There was also a Student who was simple and was an underachiever at his community college which he rarely attended. He was encouraged by his parents to enjoy his youth so he set no goals for himself for the future. His father got him tickets to many important Giants football games, including The Super Bowl. He loved the Giants and watched all the rest of the games on television. He wore whatever was around, usually a casual shirt and jeans.
With him was his Girlfriend who was innocent and knew little about the game. The extent of her knowledge was that there are a bunch of guys in tight pants who throw and kick an oblong ball. Yet she enjoyed watching the games with the Student because of the expressions of joy she received from him when the Giants were successful in winning the game. She wore tight casual clothes, simple earrings, and light make-up.
The young Pharmacist was very popular and wasnt afraid to take a risk. He wasnt a true pharmacist but was called this because he supplied people with drugs to make them feel better. He didnt care much for football but received the tickets as payment for a smoking drug from a man who gave these away rather than having both of his arms broken. He had dark black skin and wore flashy clothes, his pants usually were quite low.
There was a very serious Lawyer among us. He was constantly engrossed in his work and very dedicated to his firm. He won the tickets from a raffle, but Im sure he would have preferred a new briefcase, his old one was beginning to fall apart because he took it everywhere with him. He would sometimes watch football when he was a child but has had nothing to do with it since then. He did have some vacation days to take off from work and it was a good time to go to California anyway. He always wore a black suit and his tie was never mussed.
Now I have told you about the status, dress, and the number of these passengers and why this group met at the airport which was in Newark. But now I must tell you what we did at the airport and afterwards I will tell you about the trip. But I ask you to forgive me for any vulgarity because I speak colloquially telling you the statements and actions of these people, if not directly quote them. Also forgive me for not arranging the people in authoritative importance as it should be.
Our Pilot made us all comfortable. He is a worthy pilot, and is witty, charming, and handsome. After we had paid our round trip fair, he boarded us onto the jet. He then addressed us on the loudspeaker Attention, lady and gentlemen, this is pilot speaking. Welcome aboard the private non-stop trip to Pasadena. Due to some technical difficulties, there will be no on-flight movie. To make your flight a little more enjoyable, Id like to make a suggestion. Each passenger will tell two tales each flight and the person who tells the best will receive a meal paid for by the others in the airport restaurant when we return to Newark. If you all agree, please pick a lot from a hat and the one who picks the paper with a 1 on it will start off. Enjoy your flight. We immediately drew a lot and the Sports Doctor picked the paper with the 1 on it, which made everyone happy, so he had to tell his tale first. Since he realized he had to go first he said Well, since I must start the game, I welcome the decision. Lets start the trip and listen to what I say.
And with that, the plane took off, and the Sports Doctor readily began his tale and spoke this way
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